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Now that the golf season is over, it is time to realize certain things:
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle
The best wood in most amateurs' golf bag is the pencil If you think it's hard meeting new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly Tee your ball high...air offers less resistance than dirt
The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of 'maul it again'
A 'gimme' is best defined as an agreement between two golfers neither of whom can putt very well An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse The members who command the best service at a golf club either have the lowest handicaps or the highest bar bills Golf is an awkward set of body contractions designed to produce a graceful result Why is it twice as hard to hit a ball over sand or water? Some golfers believe 'overclubbing' can be corrected by 'overlooking' or 'undercounting', and when using a caddy, 'overtipping' If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than you have actually lost, your focus is entirely wrong and your personality might not be right for golf ... See a counsellor The trees taunt you, the sand mocks you, the water calls your name...and they say golf is a quiet game
The reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you
He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie
If you have lost more than four golf balls on any given hole, for safety reasons, let your partner drive the cart Golf's three ugliest words ... you're still away |